Miss Trinket
by Skye Maxwell
Summary: Effie Trinket is an eclectic math teacher who cares about her appearance more than anything but puts her job enriching the lives of students at a close second. One-shot. AU. Culminates in a joke that's so not funny, you might laugh anyways.


**AU, Effie Trinket is a math teacher.  
>This is just a short little one-shot for fun.<strong>

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><p>She was about to write on the board when she paused, looking at her spring-green nail polish and the shimmering gold swirls on top of it that she had applied the night before. She observed them for a moment and then gave a small smile of approval before getting back on track.<p>

As she used a pink piece of chalk to write "Miss Trinket" on the board in elaborate cursive, students began filing into the classroom behind her. A corner of her mouth rose as she glanced at the clock. She liked when things ran on schedule.

The freshmen all eyed her curiously, never having seen a teacher quite like her before and wondering in vain if all high school teachers were like Miss Trinket. From her green pumps to her bright red lipstick to her newly-dyed platinum blond curls, she was anything but ordinary.

She knew exactly why she was receiving all the stares, and she counted each one as a personal victory. Miss Trinket prided herself on her appearance more than anything, even more so than her prowess as a high school math teacher.

Her personal motto was: 'Inner beauty is very important, yes, but what better way to reflect inner beauty than with outer beauty?'

When every desk in the classroom was filled, she said in a regal voice, "Welcome, welcome, boys and girls. It's the first day of a new school year!" she announced, as if the students didn't already know and as if it was the greatest thing ever. "I hope you are all ready to learn. Well, you all must try and be a bit more chipper! Aren't you all excited?"

The students burst her bubble when they did not return her enthusiasm, but she recovered quickly.

"Well, _I'm_ excited. Today is a big, big, big day! For me, it's a new chance to really make a difference in the lives of a whole new set of children! No matter, I'm sure my enthusiasm will catch fire in this classroom eventually. Until then, let's open our textbooks to chapter one."

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><p>Class was nearing its end, and Miss Trinket was determined to bring her lively math lesson to a close right on time, just as she always did.<p>

"Now, I want you to do problems one through twenty-nine on page six for homework-"

A collective groan rose up from the class. Effie seemed to brush it off effortlessly even though she couldn't help but be annoyed at their lack of manners.

"…but I only want you to do the odd problems: one, three, five, and so on. You see, in math textbooks, the answers to the odd problems are usually in the back of the book…"

Some of the students looked surprised, never having realized this fact before. Others were confused as to why a teacher would point out such an obvious way to cheat. Still others looked sullen, as if their old top-secret way of completing half of their homework accurately had been uncovered by this suspiciously cheerful and fashionable teacher.

"…which means that you can check your homework problems after you've done them to make sure you did them correctly. It really works for your benefit," she concluded with a smile.

Some students smiled back—one or two because they appreciated the sentiment, but most of them because they believed Miss Trinket to be a sucker. Little did they know, she did not grade homework, but only graded quizzes and tests, which they would fail if they did not do their homework properly.

Closing her own textbook with a quick snap on her desk, Effie said, "Remember, only do the odds, and then check your answers, for your own good. And on that note, have a marvelous rest of this big, big, big day, boys and girls."

And with that, the bell signaling the end of class rang, right on schedule.

As the students rose to leave, she said above the noise, "One more thing before you leave, students."

Something in her tone made all of the students stop in their tracks.

She gave a tight-lipped smile and added, "May the odds be _ever_ in your favor."

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><p><strong>Yep. The whole point of all that was the last line... :D<br>I kind of like Effie as a math teacher. What say you?**

**-Skye **


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